In life there are many bad choices to be made. If we are lucky, we have some kind of foresight to where we could go wrong. We may have a good role model to guide us in the proper direction and to teach us better ways of piloting through difficulties. We can learn to make better decisions by learning from others.

I have had great mentors in my life, and I continue to strive to be the type of person who takes advice and guidance from people who have had experiences more advanced than my own. In these conversations, I have learned and complied for you…

 

8 Mistakes That Will Set You Back by at least a Decade

 

1. Not understanding the difference between true friends, and friends of convenience.

   You can waste a lot of years drinking in a garage with your buddies. You might have good times with friends of convenience, but when you look back at the time spent, did it really get you far? Chances are that you aren’t being very productive when you spend too much time with friends of convenience. True friends usually reciprocate and help you to become the person you aspire to be.

   You can still keep all of your friends! I’m not saying that you should rid yourself of these relationships, but beware of keeping connections with too many people who wouldn’t have your back in rough times.

2. Going to jail or being charged with a serious criminal offense.

   This has never happened to me personally, but I have seen it happen many times. Generally, “good” and law-abiding people can make mistakes and end up in the justice system. Even a simple charge like drinking and driving can set you back far enough financially, that it takes you a decade to get back to where you were.

   Lawyers fees, fines, jail time, and difficulty staying employed can hinder your progress by setting you back. By the time you catch up to where you were, you might find that a lot of opportunities have expired. Try your best to stay on the straight and narrow path.

3. Getting married too young, or too quickly.

   I am a big supporter of taking your time to get to know someone. I believe that it takes years before you can say that you have seen someone in most scenarios, and to be able to have a clear view of that person’s character. Furthermore, you may be struggling with knowing thy self- an important aspect to being able to function properly in a marriage.

   Getting married in your early 20s or your teens can be a recipe for disaster, because you barely know yourself yet- let alone the person you plan to marry. If you do not take your time with this important decision, you might end up in #4 on this list.

4. Getting divorced.

   Unless you were savvy enough to propose a prenuptial agreement, a divorce can be messy, expensive, and life shattering. If you have children, it may take on dark corners that you never saw possible.

   Depending on how long you were married, a divorce can take a decade to heal from financially and emotionally.

5. Starting a business that you do not fully understand.

   Starting a business is a huge decision for most people because it requires the lifeblood within you to launch and be successful at it. If you do not fully understand all of the intricacies of staring a business, you might suffer a loss of important assets in your personal life. You may face lawsuits from copyright infringement or other misadventures if you fail to fully understand your business. This can really set you back if you are not cautious to properly protect yourself by gaining knowledge.

6. Failing to finish things like high school or programs as a young person.

   We all knew a slacker or two while growing up, who never saw the value in completing high school, (or anything for that matter). The sad part is that the lesson is learned in a hard way during adulthood when faced with limited options in employment and other opportunities due to lack of education.

   Getting things like education out of the way while young is the best assistance you can give yourself. If you skip this important step, you will just delay the inevitability of having to go back and complete what you skipped earlier.

7. Not having full confidence in your abilities.

   If you are good at something, spend time developing it. Having confidence in your abilities is what will help to define your value from other people, and to keep you from falling behind.

8. Not practicing forgiveness.

   Drinking poison and expecting the other person to die; is the best descriptor I can think of here. I used to be an ace at holding grudges, until I realized that the people I was holding on to so much hate for, (probably) had forgotten that I existed. So I forgave them, then forgave myself for holding on to the pain they caused me for so long.

   Practicing forgiveness is such a great cleansing activity for the mind and soul. It really allows you to be honest with yourself and clear a path toward improved mental health.

 

Can you think of mistakes from your life that have set you back several years or even a decade? Leave your comments in the section below, and thanks for stopping by.

 

Stephanie

Sometimes people are stuck in lives that they never imagined for themselves. When they are trapped, their dissatisfaction can come out in very negative ways. I have met many people like this and you might be intrigued by my list of…

3 People You Will Meet in a Dead End Job

Chronic Complainers

These people are miserable and consider themselves too old to learn anything. This can be really frustrating to deal with because learning new things can happen at any age. They act as though the organization owes them something for their perceived sacrifices to continue to work in a dead end job. They will point out your mistakes gleefully, but duck for cover if you ever clap back.

No-Effort Nancy

These people come to work with terrible hygiene, and an even worse attitude. They seem to waft through the workplace with an attitude that says: “Why should I bother to dress neatly or comb my hair for my co-workers? I hate them all anyway because their lives aren’t as difficult as mine is.”

You can imagine how disappointing it is to share a workspace with someone like this. They thrive on victim hood as the reason for why they don’t need to put any effort into how they present themselves. Nothing is their fault, and even though they are past their 30s, and their parents are still to blame for every problem in their life.

 

The Pushover

This person is the doormat for the organization. They have been sipping the kool-aid for long enough that the brainwashing has set in: they believe that they are “lucky” to have a job where there is no training, no real leadership, and no managers to look out for them as an employee.

Coupled with an ever changing list of duties, they are always taking on new roles without getting any extra pay- or even any recognition. They are a pushover, and being terribly undervalued by their organization for no real benefit.

 

Have you met anyone like the three people listed here? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below. Thanks for stopping by.

Stephanie

There are times in life when you are hurt from a broken heart or the loss of a loved one. The pain is excruciating at the beginning, however over time, you should be able to move forward; even if it is a little bit at a time.

In my own life I have found that being creative has helped me through very difficult and dark times. I find that creating art, in particular, has helped me to heal when experiencing hardships. Want to know how?

Here are my…

4 Ways Art Will Heal You

1. Art offers a new perspective.

   When you create art, you are able to sit quietly and reflect. You are able to think about hurt feelings, or memories from the past. If you chose to go deeper, your artwork can represent your feelings in a physical form- allowing for visualization. When you see the work you create, you may find that a new perspective emerges. You will at least benefit from expressing the feelings, and getting them off of your mind, instead of bottling them within.

2. Helps you embrace your faves!

   When you create art, it is an expression of what your soul is feeling or what you hope to convey as your potential mindset. You are sad, but you want to feel excited about life again; so you create work that reflects that desire.

   For me, I love colours that evoke a warm feeling within me. For you, it can be shapes or symbols. Think about the things that make you happy, and you can include it in your work. For the time that you are creating, your entire world can be made of sunshine, rainbows, and friggin unicorns if you want. Whatever you need to reach your healing mindset through your art.

3. Adds the potential for sharing and caring.

   Making art provides an activity for you to share with a loved one. The experience helps to heal broken hearts by creating an opportunity to do things together. Being together with people who care about you is important for healing. Talking is therapy. Time spent together is irreplaceable.

4. Calms you at the end of a long day.

   Depending on where you are in your journey to pursue your passions, you may still be selling your time at your unhappy job. This can leave you feeling much more tired at the end of a long day than you should feel. You may have been catering to other people’s needs so intensely, that you have barely had a moment to address your own. Your pain will not go away by ignoring it. Creating art can be meditative in practice, allowing a regenerative benefit to your mind. This regeneration from the healing properties of creating art will give you the strength to fight-on for another day.

Creating art has helped me a lot in my life. Has it helped you? Leave your comments in the section below, and thank you for stopping by.

Stephanie

Have you spent a lot of time in isolation during 2020? Perhaps you have used the time to improve yourself beyond where you were last year. I hope you did something more constructive than watching hours of television each night before falling asleep.

In my days of social isolation due to the pandemic, I was able to learn a lot about myself. I discovered that I am a person who likes to have friends around- but also that I needed to center my mind toward achieving the life I have always dreamed of.

Here are my…

 

5 Ways Isolation Gets You Back to Center

1. No pointless chit-chat.

   As much as I enjoy socializing and meeting new people, I really don’t love pointless chit-chat all that much. I am a lover of deep conversations where I can get beyond superficial masks. Chit chat takes time and brain power away from talking about real things. Not wasting time discussing mindless subjects was the first step toward reaching the real version of myself, and I am getting closer to it each day.

2. You can fully relax

   Feeling natural in your own skin is something that you might have taken for granted, depending on what you did before the 2020 Pandemic. I used to work in a very conservative environment, so the only times I could truly be myself was when I laid down my head at night.

   When you don’t feel like you can be yourself in your environment, you are pushed and pulled into the shapes of what other people around you want to see. You can’t relax because you are always trying to hold your new shape, and you don’t feel happy because you are in constant fear of being singled out. Isolation can provide you with the freedom to be yourself; and you will find ways to relax that you never thought were possible.

3. Slow your pace.

   When you are in isolation, you have the ability to slow your pace to a speed that works for you. I am not talking about loafing around all day- I am talking about achieving your goals at a pace that is not dictated by an external force like a boss standing behind you or a work whistle blowing. By moving at your own pace, you are able to take inventory of your process in ways that work for you, since your clock is the only one that matters.

4.  You are forced to think.

   When a trip to the grocery store will take you an extra 25 minutes to wait in a line due to the 2020 Pandemic, you are forced to think a lot more about whether you really need the item.

   It forces you to think whether an extra bottle of Vodka is truly necessary in light of how long and how much effort it will take. When you are in isolation, you may even need to consider things like your spending habits, which may have been in excess before the Pandemic. Being forced to think about how much you really need something is not a bad thing, since you will likely do just fine without it.

5. Promotes gratitude

   Isolation promotes your ability to be grateful for human relationships that fulfill your spirit. One quote that comes to mind is that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. I think that in the absence of human contact, I have longed for that closeness that comes from great conversations and time spent with friends.

   I am so grateful for the people in my life that have supported me, and this became very clear to me during my time at home. I think that it is important to remember that each one of us is the by-product of every interaction and experience in life; so in order to have a genuine love for yourself, you must embrace those things as well.

 

What did you learn during time spent in isolation? Leave your comments in the section below, and thanks for stopping by.

Stephanie

 

So, you are in the process of changing your life. Maybe you are about to change your job, begin a new hobby, or some other exciting lifestyle change. No matter what it is that you are about to do, you have concerns that you may not be making a sound decision.

Sometimes we lie to ourselves through a lens of “toxic positivity”. Sometimes the person with the problem, is you, and the way you are seeing a situation. A great way to address this possibility is with my…

 

 

Three tips for breaking the honesty barrier with yourself.

1. Don’t ask for anyone’s opinion…yet.When you start this exercise, it might be wise to avoid asking anyone to contribute their opinions about you.

   More often than not, asking a friend or family member to identify areas where you could improve as a person will end up in hurt feelings. If you must ask- do so AFTER you have started your own process of reflection. Self-examine the key ideas that you have noticed about yourself, before bringing it up to anyone else.

2. Use plain language
   Using plain language about what you are feeling will help you in this process. If you are angry: say so! If you are jealous: be truthful.The reason isn’t important right now. You must first identify the emotion before you can start a dialogue with yourself.
3. Once you have found it…Write your honesty down. Don’t rely on memory. Real progress emerges when the results are measurable. The only way to measure this is by keeping track of where you are today.

At the end of the day, it is extremely important to be honest with yourself. How will you know what your true limitations are, if you do not mentally address them with yourself? Be sure to stay aware of your blind spots- or else you might not see what could be coming to knock you down.

Do you have other strategies to being more honest with yourself? Leave your comments in the section below, and thanks for stopping by.

 

Stephanie

If you are reading this post, you have a lot to be grateful for. You should be grateful for the ability to see, and to read my words; and you also should be grateful for access to technology that is connecting you to the internet.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is something that will help you each day that you pursue your artistic passions.  You are likely to be practicing gratitude right now, so in that event here are my…

7 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Daily Life

 

Put things back

When you use one of your belongings, you should put it back where it came from when you finish with it. All of your belongings have a home, so an act of practicing gratitude is to return those items at the end of their use.

You will appreciate things more often when they do not exist on the floor, or cluttering up a hallway table. Put things away, and you will get a clearer picture of what you have to be grateful for.

 

Make your bed

Make your bed and tidy your bedroom when you wake each morning. When I was a child, my Jamaican Grandmother used to imprint this practice into my mind and I would ALWAYS make the bed. As I got older, this practice fell by the wayside and I became a bit more of a slob without her watchful eye.

Now that I am an adult with my own family, I realize the importance of making the bed each morning. When you walk into a room where the bed is neatly spread with sheets, and the pillows are fluffed perfectly, you FEEL calmer than you would if you walked into a messy room. The feeling of gratitude washes over you in a neat and tidy room because you can recognize the comfort that your bed represents, and appreciate the lack of visual clutter. Make your bed every day for a week, and I guarantee you will feel grateful that you did.

 

Write thank you notes

Writing thank you notes was a practice that was common in older generations. Now, people only write these notes for the guests that attended their gatherings like weddings or baby showers. It has largely been forgotten for young people, and I believe that it is a signal of our society becoming more self-centered, and less concerned with etiquette.

I think that “thank you” emails, notes, and texts are important because they allow the writer and the receiver to show their gratitude for the experience, as well as for the relationships they have. They are a physical representation of the high regard you feel for that person, and I think it only adds to the sentiment of being grateful for your life.

 

Count your blessings

We have all heard this saying (I hope), but you can also accomplish this by counting the things that you DON’T need to worry about. Are you debt free? Do you have great family members and friends who do not bring you down with their negativity on a regular basis? If so: you should be grateful for this! Count your blessings, by counting what you don’t need to worry about!

 

Volunteer

Volunteering your time to help your community is a great way to cultivate gratitude for what you have. If you can’t volunteer, donate to a local food bank by driving over to drop off food items.

 

Look Up

I have always been called a “dreamer” because my eyes are always looking up to the sky. If staring blindly into the sun isn’t your thing (lol), then take notice of the clouds. Take note of the shapes and symbols that appear to you. Make sure that when you look up, however, you are in a safe position to do so.

 

Celebrate your birthday

Each year that passes is an achievement. Sometimes we shy away from celebrating milestones because it reminds us of how old we are. Try looking at it this way: if you have made it to 85, rejoice! You have outsmarted and outlived many other people! Anyone who lives that long must be doing something right, so take ownership of that and celebrate it. Research shows that the celebration of milestones contributes to feelings of gratitude- so why not try it this year?

 

Do you practice gratitude in your daily life? What are your methods? I would love to read your comments in the section below. Thanks for stopping by.

 

Stephanie

Life can get crazy. I know that you know this already. Some of us get so wrapped up in our problems and fears that it seems impossible to notice simple things like the name of the store clerk helping you find something, or the colour of that traffic light you just went through.

Hopefully it was green, but if it wasn’t, I wish you a speedy recovery.

There is no easy way to change your mindset. It takes determination and a strong desire to want to be different. In helping you on your journey, here are my…

5 Ways to Appreciate the Little Moments in Life

 

Examine the colour of your favourite items.

Perhaps you tell everyone that your favourite colour is deep forest green; but many of your personal items are blue or gold coloured. I’m not trying to throw shade for asking, but how well do you know yourself? Take an objective look. You might be surprised at what you discover.

 

Count how many items you have that came from somewhere else.

Now I don’t mean to ask you to take inventory of how many things in your house come from China, or you will probably be counting for a long time. What I mean is that you should take a look at how many keepsakes you have that you acquired on travels to other places.

I have a decorative vase that I acquired while visiting the Portuguese island of Madeira. I also have a small and colourful dish from my trip to Mexico. Keeping sight of these items reminds me of how lucky I have been to be able to travel, and have experiences that bring warm memories to my thoughts. I appreciate those little moments because they remind me of my past accomplishments.

 

Open your refrigerator

Do you have a refrigerator that is filled with food? You should appreciate this! Now grab a healthy snack while you are there!

 

Linger longer.

When you are about to part ways with an old friend, or a new acquaintance, linger an extra two and a half seconds. Lingering longer will allow you to appreciate the moment, and to bask in the positive warmth and good feelings from that person.

 

Arrive on time to your next event or gathering.

Often times the only opportunity you have to thank the volunteers and organizers of an event is before it gets into full swing. Once other guests have arrived, it can become impossible to show appreciation for the time and effort spent putting the event together. Appreciating others promotes positive vibes, and allows us all to take notice of how lucky we are to share our moments together.

 

Do you have ways to help you appreciate life’s little moments? Leave your comments in the section below, and thanks for stopping by.

Stephanie